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by  on  in 師長的話 • 152 Comments

數日前的一個午後時光，遇到一位之前的學生，她對我傾訴她最近情緒低落之因。事件起源於因為班上部分同學不喜歡她，是以對她採取集體孤立，令她非常傷心難過，隨後她問我此情形可謂之霸凌嗎?

所謂的「霸凌」指的是一種長時間持續的、並對個人在心理、身體和言語遭受惡意的攻擊，且因為欺凌者與受害者之間的權力或體型等因素不對等，而不敢或無法有效的反抗。一般校園常見的霸凌有：關係霸凌、肢體霸凌、言語霸凌、網路霸凌、反擊型霸凌等。而該生被同學集體孤立，且被排拒在團體之外，此隸屬關係霸凌。根據相關研究結果，霸凌通常會造成受害人心靈創傷及扭曲、課業成就低落、人際關係疏離，甚至會逼迫受害人萌生報復性攻擊行為，亦或驅使受害人轉而霸凌他人；另一方面，研究結果亦顯示，加害人在成年之後，其犯罪率及酗酒現象皆相當高。是以當霸凌事件發生時，毋論對霸凌者或被霸凌者，皆會造成負面影響。

在循循善誘教導該生之際，不但讓她清楚明瞭霸凌之始末，亦讓她學會處理霸凌狀況，那就是勇敢且嚴肅的對霸凌者說「不」。接著進一步再告知她，當身陷關係霸凌時，可抽絲剝繭的先找出帶動此霸凌的主要同學，客氣並委婉地私下找他們聊一聊，尋找出被排擠的原因。若單純只是誤會一場，就詳加解釋一番；唯若錯誤在自己，則須立刻修正或改過之；但有時霸凌者只是忌妒被霸凌者比他優越，例如被霸凌者「功課超眾」，若為此情形，被霸凌者是否可化危機為轉機，主動協助其他同學學習，進而贏得友誼，創造雙贏局面呢？

當我同理該生悲憤沮喪的情緒，環顧種種造成被孤立的原因之後。我也和她分享如何與人溝通及面對困難之道，給她勇氣與鼓勵，讓她再度從失敗中站起，讓她再度相信自己能力，讓她再度活出自我光輝，因為莎士比亞也曾說：「黑夜無論怎樣悠長，白晝總會到來。」當該生打開那糾纏已久的心結，我望著她那再度閃爍著光芒的眼神，揚起笑意的嘴角，她踏著堅定的步伐往前邁進，當我對望著她離去時的回眸一笑，彷彿一絲絲陽光輕灑向我的心房，我在心中默默地替她加油，期待此事能隨著她的勇於面對及溝通，很快地落幕。

親愛的同學們，你也曾遭逢類似狀況嗎？事件是否已迎刃而解?若當你已無懼地和霸凌者溝通，但霸凌現象卻未獲改善。此時，請你務必要求助於師長、藍天使、學務處或輔導處的人員、或打霸凌專線0800-200-885。謹記念頭轉個彎，人生無限寬。人生不是看到希望後才努力，而是努力後才有希望。

參考資料:維基百科https://zh.wikipedia.org/zh-tw/%E9%9C%B8%E5%87%8C

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